Chuck Norris, The "Christian"

Chuck Norris, The washed up B movie actor and plastic-christian, Recently graced us with an insight into what his campaign promises would be if he were to run for president. And wait for it, He decided to do it in the style of the "chuck Norris Facts". How cool! And two years out of date.

It started off OK with a few little remarks that are obviously not supposed to be taken seriously like [i will] Require members of Congress to work out on the Total Gym 15 minutes each day – or else they can't vote on anything and [i will] Cut spending by dismissing the Secret Service, at least for my eight years in office (why would I need them?). While quite smug and self-aggrandizing they were tongue in cheek.

But then this so called "Christian" took a rather darker turn on his campaign promises (he did write it at 1AM, So maybe the Jack D was kicking in). He continued to make remarks like;
Resolve the Iraq war by bringing all of our military personnel home immediately, then going over there by myself for "martial arts negotiations."
I'm sure the families of those fighting and dying in Iraq loved this one. The cause they are laying down their lives for old chucky boy thinks he can resolve single handed. But it's OK, He's only joking!

Convey my plan for world peace to the United Nations: taking the governor of California with me on our "kick butt and ask questions later" USO world tour.
Bit late Chuck, That is already Americas plan for world peace. It's called "be free, Or get shot"

And my personal favorite;
Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist.
Now I'm all for a joke, But sometimes a true word is said in jest. Can you imagine if an atheist actor made the "joke" of tattooing "i like pork" on the heads of Jews and Muslims or tattooing "Da vinci code is fact" on the foreheads of Christians? There would be absolute outrage, And I'm sure chuck - The plastic Christian - Would be heading that protest.

For a Christian, Chuck, you sure love your oppression, Hatred and violence. You Fraud.