July 12, 2008

Breaking News: Imbecile Disproves Evolution

If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know i am an advocate of Evolutionary theory to explain the diversity of life (as most people with functioning brains are). I find it a fascinating subject, And once you start to understand the simple mechanisms involved, it makes a lot of sense.

anyway, Since i put my email address on the right hand side of this blog i have gotten a steady stream of hate-mail mostly from loving christians who take great joy in telling me that i am going to hell for not believing in their particular invisible friend.

Last week though i got an email from someone who, While not even having even a basic grasp of evolutionary theory, Felt qualified to refute it. This wasn't an ordinary refutation though, It was one of the most cretinous outpourings of ignorance i have ever read. I actually got dumber from reading it. The email was from someone called Kevin and was entitled: Proof evolution is wrong

i saw on your blog that you like to talk about the religion of evolution and trick people by using big words and pretending that science actually proves evolution. I dont know any science or anything and even i know evolution isnt real. for one it isnt in the bible the bible said god made everything in 6 days, not millions of years. second, when we go to the zoo we cant talk to monkies, if we used to be monkies why cant we talk to them? three, how could a monkey become a person over billions of years when they dont live that long? AND why are there still monkies if they turned into people? five, even darwin said he was wrong. on his death bed he converted to christianity and said evolution was a hoax. If there is any science that makes it look like evolution is real then it has to be either a hoax by EVILutionists or put there by god to find out who believes in him.

I hope that after reading my questions you will see that evolution cant be true and people dont come from monkies. i will pray to god asking him to make you think like me.

38 comments:

  1. Oh, I can only hope and pray this was a joke. Even at that, it's creepy.

    Thanks for sharing, I think.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "three, how could a monkey become a person over billions of years when they dont live that long?"

    well, he's got a point there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. this is great. i lol'd.
    such ignorance... amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I replied with "you are joking, right?"... I am yet to get a reply.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Matt, I like what you're doing here with this blog.

    Trust me, that person who emailed you is normal compared to all his Christian homeschooled friends.

    I get a guy telling me his ultimate proof for Christianity is John 3:16 [That dreaded bible verse].

    Yeah, people who use reasoning from ignorance don't deserve to go to the zoo.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That e-mail is truly priceless! I think I might frame it and hang it on the wall behind my monitor.

    ReplyDelete
  7. *snorts coffee over keyboard*

    That's priceless! Are you sure it's not a Poe?

    At least he's upfront about his stupidity: "I dont know any science or anything" - full marks for accuracy, there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LMAO!!! dammit, I wish I had written that email.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm shocked that a person of that much stupidity can figure out how to send eMail.

    ReplyDelete
  10. daylightisabadthing16 July 2008 15:42

    Wow! Well, for a letter with this kind of content, his spelling is remarkably good.

    I would like to think he's pulling your leg but I'm not hopeful.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't know if I should be sad about how there could be such stupidity or whether I should laugh at a weak joke.

    (If none of us lose our intelligence and become creationists despite his praying, does that mean his god doesn't exist?)

    ReplyDelete
  12. i have no problem believing this is real. the really scary thing is, this person probably votes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Its a sad testament to human meddling with evolution that this person has survived long enough to not only learn how to write but also use a computer and the big bad interweb to find atheist blogs!

    Unfortunately evolution did not bestow much understanding on this person - if it had, they would have tried the "you can drink poison and not die" bit of their sacred text and in so doing prove that evolution works!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hello all you Evil 'Lutionists'! Still tricking people with big words I see! ( I arrived here via Think Progress--ooh it's an evil place!)

    Anywhoo...

    Kevin had me at;

    "I dont know any science or anything "

    But oh-so gratifyingly he saves the best for last:

    "If there is any science that makes it look like evolution is real then it has to be either a hoax by EVILutionists or put there by god to find out who believes in him."

    Well now that God knows who does and doesn't believe in Him ( using a scheme so obtuse and diabolical it takes someone who "doesn't know anything"--including how to spell--to figure out) what is God doing about it?

    Losing the argument, that's what.

    Maybe if God took a more direct approach for once instead of relying on surrogates like this first cousin of an amoeba then guys like Kevin might just be spared the prospects of a brain aneurysm at an early age from the strain of doing God's work for Him---for free I might add, AND by using the tools of the devil too!

    Back in the old days God knew how to pick his earthly representatives, like Moses or Saul or Samson, but these days it's Fred Phelps, Kirk Cameron and his performing banana and now Kevin.

    Jesus, as 'they' say, wept!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. To "Kevin" - I was a Catholic for 18 years and, in that seclusion, knew nothing about evolution. I was a Catholic when I saw this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeTssvexa9s - video. It was very enlightening to me, considering how closed-minded the religion had made me. You should watch it, so that you can provide an argument which is actually intelligent and halfway-informed.

    Oh, and...
    "i will pray to god asking him to make you think like me."

    I will pray to Humpty Dumpty asking him to make you less arrogant.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Epic troll is epic.

    I am realizing more and more that the best entertainment in the world comes from fucking with people who honestly care about something.

    ReplyDelete
  17. No! You're missing the killer Point 4 that proves his point!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Perhaps he's using this logic...


    (1) Jesus said that people would make fun of Christians.
    (2) I am an idiot.
    (3) People often point that out.
    (4) Therefore, God exists.


    Taken from

    http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

    ReplyDelete
  19. It hurts reading this. It's stuff like this that makes me not care for human kind. I think my dog understands more difficult concepts.

    ReplyDelete
  20. i loved that! way too good to be for real, the author should be proud.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This has got to be a joke!! LOL!

    I really wish I knew what point 4 was... maybe that one point was absolute proof that god exists and this guy just blew it.

    Too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Evolution can't be true because ice cream has no bones!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sorry The Ranting Student... you got that wrong... 5 comes after 3 not 4... don't you know any math or nothin? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I sincerely hope this was a troll

    ReplyDelete
  25. He just proved evolution. We just found the missing link.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I don't think it's Humpty Dumpty that you pray to for that. I think It's the Easter Bunny.

    ReplyDelete
  27. omg - this is fucking great. I laughed I nearly fell out of my chair.

    Did it come from the White House?

    ReplyDelete
  28. "i will pray to god asking him to make you think like me."

    Phew, good thing prayer doesn't work!
    That would be scary!

    ReplyDelete
  29. It's a joke. A parody. Why? The punctuation at first glance seems fine while the nonsense blathered about is point-by-point the worst examples of creationist comments I've seen anywhere. It's just too perfect.

    If you want to see some other nonsense, take a look at the mail bag forums on either of these sites;

    http://www.atheistthinktank.net/thinktank/index.php?board=15.0

    http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forum/index.php?board=13.0

    All of those comments on those two sites fall into two categories;

    1. Total insane and angry ranting, usually with poor punctuation and excessive use of CAPS. The incomprehensible nonsense usually shows up here.

    2. Attempts at calmly telling us atheists why we should come to Jesus and that we were misinformed (usually with the standard misinformation from AIG and other sites that sounds OK to uneducated people or people who don't check facts for themselves).

    This post has the insane nonsense of #1 but with the clean formatting of #2. I don't believe it...then again, maybe it's a transitional form? :-/

    ReplyDelete
  30. Never mind. I retract my last comment. The note does not use proper capitalization so it fits in as a #1; insane rambling. I was focusing only on the lack of excessive CAPS.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Dude, you're being baited... and you bit. This guy is probably your websites biggest fan, and thye're having some fun.

    ReplyDelete
  32. My responses:
    “I saw on your blog that you like to talk about the religion of evolution and trick people by using big words and pretending that science actually proves evolution.”
    Evolution is Darwin’s scientific theory that he developed after his historic sea voyage upon the HMS Beagle, near and on the Galapagos islands, which are due west of South America. Therefore, it is not a religion.
    The word theory has many distinct meanings in different fields of knowledge, depending on their methodologies and the context of discussion.
    In science a theory is a testable model of the manner of interaction of a set of natural phenomena, capable of predicting future occurrences or observations of the same kind, and capable of being tested through experiment or otherwise verified through empirical observation. For the scientist, "theory" is not in any way an antonym of "fact". For example, it is a fact that an apple dropped on earth has been observed to fall towards the center of the planet, and the theories commonly used to describe and explain this behavior are Newton's theory of universal gravitation (see also gravitation), and the general theory of relativity.
    In common usage, the word theory is often used to signify a conjecture, an opinion, a speculation, or a hypothesis. In this usage, a theory is not necessarily based on facts; in other words, it is not required to be consistent with true descriptions of reality. True descriptions of reality are more reflectively understood as statements which would be true independently of what people think about them.
    According to the National Academy of Sciences,
    Some scientific explanations are so well established that no new evidence is likely to alter them. The explanation becomes a scientific theory. In everyday language a theory means a hunch or speculation. Not so in science. In science, the word theory refers to a comprehensive explanation of an important feature of nature that is supported by many facts gathered over time. Theories also allow scientists to make predictions about as yet unobserved phenomena. -Wikipedia

    A common misconception is that scientific theories are rudimentary ideas that will eventually graduate into scientific laws when enough data and evidence has been accumulated. This is not true, as scientific theory and scientific law have different definitions. A theory does not change into a scientific law with the accumulation of new or better evidence. A theory will always remain a theory, a law will always remain a law. A theory will never become a law, and a law never was a theory. -Wikipedia

    People using big words are called educated, but typically are referred to as vainglorious.

    “I don’t know any science or anything and even I know evolution isn’t real. “
    Your statement contradicts itself. First you say you don’t know anything and then you say I know evolution isn’t real. It can’t be both ways. Either way it matters not. When we find a theory that more closely defines the natural world, we will move from backing the theory of evolution to backing that new theory.

    “For one it isn’t in the bible the bible said god made everything in 6 days, not millions of years.”
    First capitalize Bible and God. Show respect to both by using the correct English rules of grammar. And please punctuate appropriately. Secondly, it’s billions of years not simply millions of years. At last estimation it is 13.6 billions of years. And why do you limit yourself to your limited understanding of a day. Do you simply compare the number of neurons in your brain to the number in God’s brain? God’s understanding of a day is what you should be focusing on.

    “Second, when we go to the zoo we cant talk to monkies, if we used to be monkies why cant we talk to them?”
    I’m lost on this one. I talk to monkeys every time I go to the zoo. And it is spelled monkeys not monkies. And I added apostrophes where you didn’t.

    “Three, how could a monkey become a person over billions of years when they dont live that long?”
    The theory of evolution discusses how entire species evolve not just simply an individual of a specie. And more to the point, we didn’t evolve from a monkey. We evolved from a proto-hominid, just as did those monkeys in the zoo.

    “AND why are there still monkies if they turned into people?”
    You have a very good point. And if you get my previous point, they didn’t

    “Five, even Darwin said he was wrong. on his death bed he converted to Christianity and said evolution was a hoax.“
    That is a lie.
    One famous example is Charles Darwin in the Lady Hope urban legend, in which it was claimed Darwin said: "How I wish I had not expressed my theory of evolution as I have done." He went on to say that he would like her to gather a congregation since he "would like to speak to them of Christ Jesus and His salvation, being in a state where he was eagerly savoring the heavenly anticipation of bliss." [2] Lady Hope's story was printed in the Boston Watchman Examiner. The story spread, and the claims were republished as late as October 1955 in the Reformation Review and in the Monthly Record of the Free Church of Scotland in February 1957.
    From Darwin's son: "Lady Hope's account of my father's views on religion is quite untrue. I have publicly accused her of falsehood, but have not seen any reply." [3]
    From Darwin's daughter: "I was present at his deathbed. Lady Hope was not present during his last illness, or any illness. I believe he never even saw her, but in any case she had no influence over him in any department of thought or belief. He never recanted any of his scientific views, either then or earlier. We think the story of his conversion was fabricated in the U.S.A. The whole story has no foundation whatever." -Wikipedia

    “If there is any science that makes it look like evolution is real then it has to be either a hoax by EVILutionists or put there by god to find out who believes in him.”
    It just can’t be both ways. It is a hoax or God supports the theory of evolution. One is not to test God. Who among us says God could not use evolution instead of a 6 day creation myth which may have been copied from a prior religion to help serve to convert the uneducated masses of the time.

    “I hope that after reading my questions you will see that evolution cant be true and people don’t come from monkies.”
    I hope that after reading my responses you will see that evolution is a theory and people don’t come from monkeys.

    “I will pray to God asking him to make you think like me.”
    I pray to God asking him/him/her to make you think like me. By the way did you know that the original Greek texts use the feminine form of the word for the Holy Spirit?

    Signed
    Married to a Minister

    ReplyDelete
  33. I know it's fairly pointless to actually debate with someone like that, but there's a very simple counter to the comment:

    “Second, when we go to the zoo we cant talk to monkies, if we used to be monkies why cant we talk to them?”

    How many babies can you speak to? - after all, I'm sure we can agree you were one once? - Sure, babies can learn to talk - most of them do, but so indeed can monkeys (albeit not verbally, but through sign language)

    ReplyDelete
  34. I should be surprised by this...but alas I am not.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Okay, we can laugh at the imbecile, but remember that his vote counts as much as any of ours. These twits vote and have an impact on public policy. That is what is sad about all of this.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Thanks for posting this. You made my day.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Kevin, have you herad of inbreading? It's when you bread in your own family. Do you know what inbreading does? It causes mutations and deformalities. Back in the time before your
    "Almighty Jesus", inbreading was a natural thing. thins caused many monkeys to evolve, who continued to inbread until the stage of the late B.C.E. era, near the birth of the "Saviour Child" was born, where humans came to exist.Monkeys dont need to live billions of years to change moron!Inbreading is also proven to cause deformalities in later generations, therefore you cannot disprove evolution evolution because it is a proven fact and has been considered a factor in advancements in humans, such as increase in inventions and increase in knowledge. Do you think you could have printed out thousands copies of the bible in a single day if there were not evolution in the mind of human beings? No I think not. And do you honestly believe "God" put two people on Earth and produced so many children without inbreading? If anything thyat would have turned their children into monkeys over time. Also, monkeys do not understand hyumans because they have grown accustomedto the own language. However, you are wrong in stated that monkey don't understand humans because they can learn, like any other animal, to understand our languages. They cannot speak it, however, because their bodies are not accustomed to talked but moving their lips and squeeking. However, it is possible that if you were to bread a human and a monkey, the offspring could possibly learn to speak after many generations of breading humans with monkeys. I am not, in any way condoning the breading of monkeys and humans , I am just stating that it could vry well be possible. So there, Mr. Kevin Christianality. Make your move, I've got you in check.

    E-mail me at Bradicalboy@hotmail.com to compete against my theory. Athieism is the only way to roll.

    ReplyDelete