July 18, 2008

A Reply From Kevin, The Cretinous Creationist

A few of you would have already read the stupid email Kevin decided to write, It has had thousands of views. Well done Kevin, You are famous, Unfortunately it's for being a moron and a figure of ridicule.

After i received that email i replied asking Kevin simply "you are joking, right?" and he replied with what can only be described a testament to the creationists ability to dig themselves into giant holes.
firstly i didnt give you permission to put my email on your blog. teh email copyright is owned by me and i will talk to my solisitor about making you take it down.

And no im not joking, you know im right thats why you didn't answer. If we used to be monkies we should be able to talk monkey. its like if a french man becomes american he can still talk french, its called logic. also on tv a scientist says crocodiles havnt changed for million of years. if evolution was true they would be able to fly by now or talk or grow fur or invent things. if evolution happens why didnt it make crocodiles better?

the devil tricked you into believing you are from mud to take you away from god. Why would you want to be from mud and monkies when you have the option to be from gods hand? If you just stop thinking the bible makes sense and you dont have to worry about anything. If you just stop trying to find things out and accept gods word jesus will forgive you.

i thing you should watch expelled by ben stein. It shows how science is from the devil and good christians are being fired from jobs because atheists know they have the truth. evolution believers know its evil and from the devil, and thats why they are frighetened of christianities real sciense

DONT PUT THIS EMAIL ON YOUR BLOG!!! SERIOUSLY! I DONT GIVE PERMISSION!!
Ooops, sorry Kevin. It appears i have accidentally put your email on my blog.

30 comments:

  1. But what about "teh email copyright?" I love it.

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  2. I'm speechless. Again. This poor fool hasn't a clue.

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  3. This is, actually, what we can expect as an average college graduate in Florida if science teaching is finally affected by the new rules!

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  4. "And no im not joking, you know im right thats why you didn't answer. If we used to be monkies we should be able to talk monkey."

    This quote is going in my fave quotes on facebook. Thanks Kevin keep em coming.

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  5. It's funny but also sad at the same time, because obviously Kevin has not had any good science instruction. Ugh. This kind of thing upsets me...

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  6. I was an evolutionist until Kevin's emails finally showed me the light.

    Have fun in Hell, science-worshippers!

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  7. you are going to educate him now as to how he is wrong aren't you ?

    or try anyway , i doubt he will be able to take it in.

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  8. "if evolution was true they would be able to fly by now or talk or grow fur or invent things."

    that would be a bad-ass croc, though, i gotta say.

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  9. He said it all, "If you just stop thinking the bible makes sense..."

    C'mon people, just stop thinking!

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  10. "the devil tricked you into believing you are from mud to take you away from god."

    I seem to remember this differently;

    Gen 2:7
    And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

    It seems Kevin just called his god the Devil. So does that mean the Devil is actually God? Kevin's sad mistake will go completely unnoticed by Kevin, because he admits the Bible doesn't need to make sense, you just have to believe fairy tales.

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  11. you want to argue against it... but you can't. Maybe this is the tactic, get so much wrong there's no way to rebut it.

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  12. *sigh* I wish more people like this contacted me. The last conversation I had (with a deluded muslim) spanned 19 emails and was hilarious.

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  13. Absolutely hilarious. Poe's Law seems to strike again. Hopefully this kid is able to see reason someday. It is a shame people still live like this.

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  14. "If you just stop thinking the bible makes sense and you dont have to worry about anything. If you just stop trying to find things out and accept gods word jesus will forgive you."

    That says it all right there.

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  15. Hi,

    I just came here from the link on Atheist Revolution. I thought it must be a spoof (albeit a well-done one) by virtue of the bit about "how could a monkey become a person over billions of years when they dont live that long?" alone, but now that I see this, I think I'm convinced. His spelling, which wasn't too bad in the first email, got worse after people commented on it, and this line: "If you just stop thinking the bible makes sense" is just too cliché. Plus, I don't think someone with a Jethro Bodine education would know what a "solisitor" is.

    Of course, if I'm wrong and it is genuine, we need to find Kevin and neuter him for the good of the species.

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  16. Hi Matt,

    Of course, I can't be sure, because I've encountered some pretty zany nonsense myself from young earth creationists over the years, including almost every single statement in the two emails by "Kevin," but they do seem to be spoofs to me, and very well-crafted ones at that (including the poor spelling). These lines in particular are what seem to be the clues:

    "I dont know any science or anything and even i know evolution isnt real."

    Of course, I can show you some comments by a Church of Christ preacher who is a young earth creationist who I've been engaged in discussion with over just the last few days in which he says something very similar, but the statement here seems too straightforwardly blatant about it.

    "i will pray to god asking him to make you think like me."

    Young earth creationists certainly imply this, when they make the frequent comment that they're going to pray to God for you because you've just critiqued some pseudoscience errors they've been spouting, but I've never seen one make that blatantly direct statement like this.

    "If you just stop thinking the bible makes sense and you dont have to worry about anything."

    Again, young earth creationists indirectly imply this on occasion in their rhetoric, but the blatantness of it here seems to be just enough of a tiny bit "over the top" about it, that it doesn't seem like a statement that a young earth creationist would actually make so directly.

    However, as I already mention, if it's a spoof, it is indeed very well done as an excellent representation of this kind of attitude that is very pervasive among young earth creationists.

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  17. Oh Kevin- you are a delight on a Sunday morning- you brighten my day with laughter :)
    Can I please please use 'teh copyrights'?

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  18. Hilarious! I stumbled it.

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  19. "teh email copyright" FTW.

    Holy Toledo.

    This is the bizarro logic that got me:

    If we used to be monkies we should be able to talk monkey. its like if a french man becomes american he can still talk french, its called logic.

    No, it's called failed analogy, Kevin. It's like if your great-grandfather emigrated from France to (presumably) British Columbia Canada and learned English. Then he had kids, and maybe he taught them French, but they mostly spoke English. Then when they had kids French wasn't even part of the lineage anymore. And then when one of them, your parent, reproduced (pity that), your native language was English--or some semblance of it. That doesn't change how your great-grandfather spoke French. And that you speak English now instead of French doesn't mean you aren't his descendant. But your stupid analogy does prove that you're a frickin' moron.

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  20. This guy must be "Dr" Hovind's son. Poor kid.

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  21. Any chance you could let me know his e-mail address? I think it would be a worthwhile project to attempt to open some sort of dialogue.

    No need to post it here for all to see, just e-mail me (details are in my profile).

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  22. wtf... please tell me you made that up and that these people do not walk among us!!

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  23. wow, i was convinced by his logic. we do not come from mud! i should have seen this before, because i definitely do not speak monkey...

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  24. That is so funny, thanks for keeping us entertained!:)

    BTW, make sure you don't publish this!!! Seriously.

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  25. rational being14 August 2008 11:49

    I bet this is one of those American home-schooled kids who "kick the asses of public school kids", as a prominent anarcho-capitalist in the DP forums uses to say.

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  26. This is what happens when evolution screws up. Thanks Matt for putting this up. I lolled.

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  27. He's taking the piss - I'm almost positive...

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  28. Who do you think Jesus is? What did he do? What claims did he make?
    Find out the truth behind those questions and maybe it will explain just why Jesus is the most famous man of all time.

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  29. This is so entertaining. I think Kevin does talk "monkie" it certainly isn't English is it?

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  30. We need to educate these religious morons. I live in the bible belt. I do not sit quietly when these idiots talk about their invisible god.
    The irony is that even the variation of color, size and human form shows that humans have and are evolving.
    I want a deeper respect for this planet. We can't achieve that goal until we stomp out any religion that feels this planet is a temporary holding ground or, that only the human species are an important element.
    Not to mention, they are putting a stranglehold on our development. Why can’t they believe in unicorns. They are a much nicer and kinder to the planet.

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