November 22, 2007

Chuck Norris Shits On The American Constitution

Fundies say the darndest thing

Everyones favorite has-been standing joke Chuck Norris has become the latest in a long line of liars from god by shitting on the American constitution and completely misrepresenting Americas forefathers.

In the below video Chuck and his wife (wholesome christian family) tell you that bible studies should be taught in schools because "God knows, We need it" and that the forefathers had no intention of removing the bible from the classroom. Even though they categorically said that the state should support no particular religion.

By the way, Check out Chuck Norris' face in this video. He looks like he's had a bang on the head.


  1. Wow. And I thought Chuck Norris was god. Apparently he is just a total gym, bible-thumpin' jerk.

  2. Yeah, Chuck's a thumper alright. Whenever he's not busy getting plastic surgery done, he's pushing the babble. I hear Huckabee's got a commercial out saying Chuck endorses him. Haven't seen it yet.

  3. Quick! Someone get a spartan from 300 to endorse the Quran in schools!

  4. Just when he had some ironic street cred, he had to go and throw it all away.

  5. He looks like father-Simpson from the Simpsons:)

  6. Give me a break... you need to read the American Constitution and tell me just where it says you can't teach the bible in school. You have all fallen for the myth that the separation of church and state means no church in school. It was never meant that way. Jefferson was worried that the government would force a particular religion or in the case as it turned out no religion upon the people. Do yourselves a favor and read some to the writings of our forefathers, the framers of this country and the constitution heald a strong belief in God.

  7. "Even though they categorically said that the state should support no particular religion."

    Author is correct, but this amendment was intended to keep government out of religion. It has only been interpreted as keeping religion out of government for the last few decades. The founding fathers found no problem, or requirement, with religion influencing government.

    In fact,the Chistion Bible was used in public schools to teach kids to read in the past, although this was before the Feds were micromanaging education.

    James Madison, the fourth president, known as "The Father of Our Constitution" made the following statement "We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God."

    Fifty-two of the 55 founders of the Constitution were members of the established orthodox churches in the colonies.

    Only in the last few decades have the public school textbooks been censored. Take a look at a public school history book from the 40s or earlier if you do not believe me.

    Also, See the Federal Government saturated with references to God:

    US historical documents saturated with references to God:

    Not that the Governemnt ever should have (or ever did) force any aspect of Christianity on the public, but the proof of Americas historical culture of Christianity is irrefutable.

  8. I think it's you who needs to read the constitution anonymous. it clearly says the state shall show support for no particular religion. So go ask chucky boy how he feels about having the quran taught as fact to his kids.

  9. Jefferson was worried that the government would force a particular religion or in the case as it turned out no religion upon the people.

    Having Christian Bible study classes in public schools and excluding of all other religious texts would be a classic example of the government forcing a particular religion upon the people.

    That being said, a course in the Bible designed to help students grasp biblical references contained in the classical arts could be a good thing.

  10. Chuck Norris' comment can go for any religion. Why not teach Scientology, or some other wacky religion. Religions are for the home, not the education system.

  11. I agree with what Anonymous said about our forefathers and the intent of the constitution. I also agree that Chuck comes off like one creapy ass bible thumbing fake who probably believes Bush is a great Leader.

  12. Jefferson was worried that the government would force a particular religion or in the case as it turned out no religion upon the people.

    The government is not enforcing no religion. You can practice anything you want. It just does not belong in a place that communities pay for. If your going to bring in 1 religion you better give people the option of what they want to study including no religion.

  13. Yes, anon, most of our founding fathers were Christian, but that didn't mean that they automatically felt it necessary to use the government to force their religion on the people (nor were they the fundamentalist nut jobs of today). In fact, just a quick look at the first amendment makes it quite clear that they wanted to prevent the government from doing just that.

    And since when would the separation of church in state make it acceptable for the proselytizing of students by the public, taxpayer-funded schools? I can't follow your logic at all there. No taxpayer-funded public school should ever be preaching to forcing religion up on it's students. Ever.

    If our founding fathers wanted a nation which used government to force religion on the people they would have made it that way, and I don't see any evidence to suggest that's the case. Treaty of Tripoli, anyone?

  14. Its great that the forefathers had a strong belief in God. That does not mean they need to enforce that belief on me. I enjoy my freedom of religion. Well in my case the freedom to NOT have to listen to that crap.

  15. The First Amendment states: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

    REQUIRING that the bible be taught in publicly funded schools directly violates the US Constitution. You don't need to do any further reading, the argument does not need to go any further. If you pass a law requiring that the bible be taught in public schools, you are passing an unconstitutional law.

    By the way, Thomas Jefferson was a deist. He believed in god, but not the vengeful, hateful, twisted fairy tale character most of you Christians believe in.

  16. For the most part the founding fathers were deists...

  17. His endorsements aside, the man was world champion kickboxer for many years, so he's accomplished more than you and I will in our lifetime, so they "what a complete world champion kickboxer loser.." complaints are a little hollow, despite your disagreements with him politically...

    He'll he'd still whip all your asses even at age 60 I'd bargain...

  18. God has a plan for queers, it's called A.I.D.S

  19. "God has a plan for queers, it's called A.I.D.S"

    why is it most common in sub-Saharan Africa amongst the straight population then?

    Is god an incompetent imbecile incapable of doing anything right?

  20. Unfortunately, they have a point. There is nothing preventing the bible from being taught in schools. The arguments are good, the intentions are not. They seek to have the bible taught as a religious text, and a guide to our way of life, not as a work of literature that has influenced history.

    There is nothing wrong with the bible...just something wrong with saying that everyone should follow its every word.

  21. I've heard of this plan before of teaching the bible as literature in schools and I think it's long as they also introduce/offer the other great religious texts (Koran, Talmud, Tao Te Ching, etc.) and not "preach" just the bible. Do we always have to go to the extremes when it comes to political and religious discussions? I heard nothing about Chuck "shitting" on anything.

  22. jr, there's no proof that James Madison ever said that about the ten commandments. See "Piety and Politics" by Rev Barry W. Lynn page 32:

    "A quotation frequently circulates on the Internet, attributed to Madison, that lauds the Ten Commandments as the basis of American government. The problem is, no one has been able to produce an original source for this statement, and it appears nowhere among Madison’s papers. The statement is also incongruous with just about everything else Madison wrote concerning church-state separation."

    If you want to reference quotes, I particularly like this one:

    "When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obliged to call for help of the civil power, 'tis a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one."

    - Benjamin Franklin, Works, Vol. XIII, p. 506

  23. How can you possibly justify the study of one religion over another in schools? What about non-religious folk?

    There's nothing stopping folks from attending their respected place f worship whenever they like.

  24. Are they going to teach that the Christian Bible is fraught with inaccuracies, hyperbole, and changes that have been made by MAN over the ~2000 year history? (Read, Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why (Plus) by Bart D. Ehrman)

    How about the "other" gospels?
    How about eastern religions that outdate christianity?
    How about the Talmud?

    There are so many people who are so uneducated about the constitution and the founding of this country.

    BTW, isn't this the reason we give no-tax status to churches and other houses of worship? Want to know about it, go there... or to private school!

    Crazy people.

  25. I love this country because we tolerate even the ignoramuses who think they know what is best for everyone. Last I checked kids could pray in school-if they wanted to. If their parents want them to, then send them to a school promotes your belief. It's not an entitlement to do so and never has been.

  26. You all know that isn't Chuck talking. I'm familiar with his religious background and the such, but in this case, the message is clearly coming from the wench next to him. No man, not even Chuck Norris, can withstand the wrath of a woman on a mission. Free Chuck of this demonic presence.

  27. Who care if they teach the Bible? With everything else they teach [sic]in public schools, why not this? With all of the sex and violence, it would probably be quite popular with da kidz...

  28. I'm glad for most of the responses from my first anonymous statement. I've re-read it and I can see where some might think I'm trying to say the bible should be taught in school. That is not completely what I was trying to say. I'm not opposed to teaching the bible in school or the Quran, or "fill in the blank" religion. I'm just a bit peeved that we have taken the first admendment of the constitution and used it to toss the bible out of our schools, or the ten commandments out of our courts. Here in California the Quran is actually tought in many of our schools, but it is aparently illegal t0 discuss the bible. I just think it is wrong, and doesn't help our kids in any way.

  29. Evangelism and forcing one's religious beliefs on others is Un-American. That's what the Taliban do, and that's what the 9/11 hijackers wanted.

    If you don't want Islam forced on you, why do you think others would want Christianity forced on them?

    Start thinking for yourself, and leave other people alone!

  30. If you don't like our laws move to China, your life is so easy in usa.join the Army. then come back here and tell us what you think,Bless Chuck and his wife Heart for doing this, one day before you die you will turn to god begg him for help???

  31. I am wondering if Chuck had a stroke or something. It seems like he's slurring his words, and his left and right sides of his face are not really symmetrical. Maybe there's another reason he's leaning on his wife throughout the video?

  32. If the Constitution doesn't intend for their to be a clear separation of church and state, then it needs an ammendment that makes it so. I call that progress. Teaching mythology as reality and judgment as morality... that's not progress.



    there's a ton of clear evidence from their own writing that most of the founding fathers did not trust religious influence in government. books have been written on the subject. sadly americans don't like to read so most of them are just ignorant of history.

  34. Yes they should teach the Bible in School. Nothing pisses off a Southern Baptist more than a Catholic teaching Bible School and vice versa. Can't wait to see the battles started over WHO teaches the bible.

  35. Never liked the guy.
    Oh, I'm new here... :) Glad to have found your blog.

  36. If you think religion belongs in government, move to Iran. Different religion, but that hardly matters to those opposed to religion in government. The two countries would turn out pretty much the same thing if you wanted to go down that road.

  37. hmmmm every time somebody dials that number it will cost them money....
    and we all know they will distort the statistics for "poll" purposes anyway.....
    and for a real poll, nondistinct hits don't count...
    so break out your war dialers kids..... time to have fun

  38. I like how the phone number is 888-BIBLE-NOW, but you only really need to enter in 888-BIBLE-NO.

  39. There is probably a God, a name I use for whatever created the Universe.

    There is definitely a Constitution.

    The Bible however, is a freakin' fairytale. Basing your life on a silly story is just plain stupid.

    The framers would not have achieved any type of political power if they did not at least pretend to be Christians. Much like modern presidents must pretend to be Christians.

  40. the man is like my grandfather, fake hair, painted mustache and a trophy wife and he talks about the bible, religion has cost tens of mass murders over the years, history proves it, ih he really wanted people to to believe his shit, a arab bomber should've rushed in the scene screamin allah, BOOM, and then chuck would stand up unharmed(cause he is chuck norris)and say"if you don't want THAT to happen, support bible in fucking painted dirty old guy, you're not rambo you fucking clown,


  42. I'd like to think that old age has compromised his mind. I just lost a lot of respect for good ol' Chuck.

  43. I will say this, Chuck Norris is flat out wrong here. The bible should not be taught as "the truth" in public schools. It should however be required reading for some history comprehension classes, along with the Torrah, Koran, and other religious texts.

    These texts should not under any circumstances be taught as historical accuracies, but should instead be used to help the student place into context historical events that have happened in the name of "god".

    Oh, wait a second, if we allowed that, then students would be able to think critically about religion, and that is never good for the folks on the religious right.

  44. f*ck the bible and you stupid Christians!

  45. yo fuck chuck norris

  46. In the first place the founding fathers were almost to a man, Deisits... not strictly what you would call Christian. In the second place they did NOT want religion in their government, nor did they want government in their religion.

    Oh, and the reason the bible was often used as a textbook in schools was due to the fact that for most people it was the ONLY book they actually had in their homes.

  47. The US government has grown out of its forefather's shoes, and has emerged a bloated military government that systematically use symbols and icons as a method of controlling the mind of its 'citizens'; so religion is a perfect tool to herd the masses.

    The average Joe actually still believe "George Bush Jr" the puppet president is actually running the country. Wake up and smell the roses. The whole system is a farce as a way to focus power to the select few. Hail the king you peasants, and worship only OUR version of God!

    "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche

  48. "America's 1st Black U.S. Future 44th President from Ann Arbor, MI"

    Contribute Now
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    Vote For Me

  49. Not that the Governemnt ever should have (or ever did) force any aspect of Christianity on the public, but the proof of Americas historical culture of Christianity is irrefutable.

    SPEW! Apparently you missed the part where the kid was forced to sit at his desk, with his head down, moving his lips during school prayer time.


  50. it clearly says the state shall show support for no particular religion.

    The first amendment does not say that. There are only three possibilities here, though admittedly with some overlap between them:

    1) You cannot read.
    2) You have not read the actual legal text of the first amendment.
    3) You are a disingenuous dick who cannot deal with what the first amendment says, so you repeat The Big Lie until everyone believes your fake interpretation is factually correct.

    It says Congress shall not establish a religion. Establishment of a religion means to make it the "state religion." That is all it means.

    Or are you one of those people who believes that words are entirely fluid in their meaning, and can be twisted to suit any expressive purpose you need them to fit?

    It is not the Constitution that clearly prohibits any state support of religion. It is the courts, and their disease-addled brains that have the reading comprehension of a mal-adjusted young child, that have interpretted the first amendment's clear text in such an ahistorical fashion.

  51. oh dear. and i thought chuck was cool once..

    unfortunately, the whole bible bashing section of america is what gives it its bad name.

  52. Most people never bother to read the constitution. Here is what it says:

    "Amendment I

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

    It says that CONGRESS shall make no law! Why? Because in those days many states had a state religion. And the US Congress was to stay out of that business. The Constitution simply wanted the Federal Gov to leave that sort of thing to the individual states. In addition in those days most schools were religious schools. And there lies the problem today, the public schools. There should be no such thing. It makes more sense to give every parent a school voucher for each child and let them give it to whatever private school they prefer. That way we really keep the government out of schools.

  53. Thank God for Chuck Norris!

  54. Chuck Norris is Awesome!! Chuck for President!!

  55. Phone numbers only have 7 numbers after the area code, making their phone number 1-888-bible-NO

    Keep hope alive, those of the Church of Chuck Norris, this might indeed be a clever ruse to keep bibles out of schools :P

  56. Obviously you are someone who has not done their research... like most of you who try to remove God from our society.

    When the founders of our country wrote the constitution... schools were not controlled by the state!!!

    Also... the constitution states that government will not establish a religion, meaning that it will not make it's self the approved religion. It also states that government will not restrict the establishment of religion either... yet that is exactly what is happening when people like you talk about that whole separation of church and state.... that's not even mentioned in the constitution... geez... what a bunch of dopes.

  57. As soon as bibles where took out of schools kids went to shit with no respect and shooting each other

  58. Anyone who thinks the founder fathers of our country were Christians are retards.

  59. After reading all the comments, I thought this was a site for retards. Maybe it should be called the 'Retarded Atheist who rewrite history blog'?

  60. Schools use to be community driven therefore not a part of the state. The rule did not apply. now the rule should be changed to ammend this. Private schools have bibles, and 100 years ago they were all privately funded to degree.

  61. Since school is publicly funded having the bible in school becomes public sanction for a particular religion. Either study ALL religions fairly, or study none, in publicly funded schools. Since people almost always introduce bias I can't see a christian teacher giving Animism a fair representation. I support no religion in school. Let the parents teach it at home.

  62. Hi everybody,I'm not american but this one is not CHUCK NORRIS,is a fake video and is worked very bad(not professional)for dummies who don't know CHUCK NORRIS.

  63. "fake video"

    You're an idiot. Go play in traffic.

  64. BEAJ
    Nice to see you here.
    Thanks for sharing the Mason clip. He's really unhinged! (Can't comment on your blog as I don't have a blogger account.)

    Back to Matt's post...

    As some have mentioned, early (founding )schools were religious in nature and used the bible as textbooks BECAUSE as also mentioned they were the only books that nearly everyone possessed. But NOW, most schools are publicly run under state auspices and therefore secular in nature. To be fair regarding religion, an inclusive policy would have to be taken. That means all comers. But there isn't time for that in the school day, and it would be disruptive considering some of the practices of some religions. So the practical option is to exclude all religions from the school.

    Religion is a personal issue anyway. It belongs at home or in the house of worship.

    If only our Deistic FF had foreseen the problems! I'm sure they would have been more precise with their language.

  65. When the constitution was written, the schools were not socialized (run by government) here in the US. Schools were free to teach the Bible in school because the school was not a government institution. The shitting on the Constitution happened when schools where socialized on a large scale early in the 20th century. A free society based on the teachings of the authorities with well-intended words, is not firmly seated.

    We celebrate July 4th but we aren't independent any longer, we are dependent.

    Many private schools today teach about and on the Bible and there's nothing wrong with it, even though I would probably not send my kids there.

  66. If you want to have a certain subject studied in school, you have to allow for all possible belief system, i'm a christian but if people are going to have the bible studied you have to throw in the quaran and the old testament as well as any other religous texts that might exist, and if that's the case high school would take 1000s of years to complete. My point being if it has to be all or nothing, let it be nothing and let the kids study somewhere else on their own instead of having state mandated classes.


  67. Considering that “Chuck Norris” has now passed “Jesus Christ” in terms of Google search volume, it’s interesting that Mr. Norris continues to preach the Good Word while his own followers hang on his every word. His endorsement is as good as, if not better, than one from Jesus.

  68. John Adams:
    “ The general principles upon which the Fathers achieved independence were the general principals of Christianity… I will avow that I believed and now believe that those general principles of Christianity are as eternal and immutable as the existence and attributes of God.”

    ohn Quincy Adams:
    • “Why is it that, next to the birthday of the Savior of the world, your most joyous and most venerated festival returns on this day [the Fourth of July]?" “Is it not that, in the chain of human events, the birthday of the nation is indissolubly linked with the birthday of the Savior? That it forms a leading event in the progress of the Gospel dispensation? Is it not that the Declaration of Independence first organized the social compact on the foundation of the Redeemer's mission upon earth? That it laid the cornerstone of human government upon the first precepts of Christianity"?

    Benjamin Franklin: | Portrait of Ben Franklin
    “ God governs in the affairs of man. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid? We have been assured in the Sacred Writings that except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. I firmly believe this. I also believe that, without His concurring aid, we shall succeed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel” –Constitutional Convention of 1787 | original manuscript of this speech

    It seems our country was founded by those same christian beliefs some try to destroy

  69. That is NOT Chuck Norris, that is his gay twin brother.

  70. Come on folks everyone knows that Christian's didn't discover the America the greedy white bastards $tole it. America is no more a Christian country than it is a white country for white people only. Can you imagine if Buddhist or Muslim teachers were forcing Christian kids their religion. Christian parents would be furious. Leave religion up to each family and leave government out of it.

  71. First of all, if you want to get your point across continue to use insults, and derogitory statements and the point you will make is that you are ignorant of the facts and just downright mean.

    Chuck and his wife spoke, to those that chose to listen, with dignity and repspect, but yet the majority of comments that responded were rude, disrespectful and offensive. Sounded more like children ranting and throwing a tantrum that mature adults debating equality and justice.

    The comment was not to "push" religion, because he never said that he was supporting or "excluding" one faith over another. (The term "thumping" was thrown out there. When I hear that, I get the image of someone litterally beating or pounding on something aggressively as they are trying to get the point across. I...never caught that...oh I get it, it was one of those insults.)

    He was supporting the fact that the bible should be "included" in school curriculum.

    I do agree that if "one" ideology is taught, then others should have equal opportunity to be taught and thus "has not" been the case for "the bible" or other religious studies.

    One or the other should not be excluded, if one is, then they all are. If you teach or otherwise expose students to say, evolution, then equally teach or expose them to creation.

    I suppose though, that this is America for only some, others are used to serve as targets of racial, sexual and "religious" percecution.

    Watch what you put your name to, it could be considered "discrimiantion".

    I'm not too much into the "specifics" of the constitution or any particular political venue, but I do believe that the underlying and core principal that this country was founded on and the driving force behind our way of life is, RESPECT!

  72. "He was supporting the fact that the bible should be "included" in school curriculum."

    And we are supporting the FACT that it shouldn't and that it's inclusion is unconstitutional, You fucking cry baby.

  73. ACTUALLY...

    Chuck has stood up for the Constitution...

    and did a great job fighting for theism...


  74. please atheists, tell me why is that when someone says 'I believe in God', you get angry. You can deny that all you like, but i have yet to meet an atheist who doesn't get angry. But if someone says 'I believe in unicorns'. You look at them like they are completely insane, usually saying something like 'okay... good for you'. Now both of these, are regarded to be nonexistent by any sane atheist. So why the different reactions? Why? i'm not trying to insult anyone. I just want a logical answer. Just think about, think for yourselves, not as a atheistic community, but just stop and think when you read this.

  75. "If" we who believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior are wrong; when we die, we have nothing to loose. "IF" you who do not believe in Jesus Christ are wrong; you have everything to loose.