January 18, 2008

Church For Fat Lazy Christians

I have just read an article about the emergence of a new type of church goer. They are christians who are so lazy and apathetic towards their faith that they can't even be bothered to get off their fat, sweaty arses and go to church. Instead they sit indoors and watch a streaming podcast online while stuffing their faces with chips and soda.

I guess when most of your energy is spent concocting devious plans to get myth taught as science or forming opinions on things such as where another man is allowed to put his penis actually getting up and doing something is hard work. I'm sure they still pray, Another way to do nothing and act as though you made a difference.

A Pew iResearch Center Internet study found that 82 million Americans, 22 million more people than the entire population of Britain, Spend their Sunday mornings sat in front of their computer watching an online streaming version of a sermon.

"Jesus told us to go into the world; He didn't specify how," says Pastor Mark Batterson. HA! He's got you there Jesus.... Think it through next time, You idiot.

Don't think that by worshiping online you can save some money by dodging the tithe or collection plate. The National Community Church accepts MasterCard and Visa and offer a secure online payment facility.


  1. I really don't see a problem with this podcast sermon thing. Wonders of the internet and all...

  2. it's hardly demonstrative of devotion is it.

  3. maybe they are unable to get to church for certain reasons (snowstorms, they are traveling all day, etc) don't assume the worst about them, no need to be a jackass.

  4. Hey, look at it this way- if they ALL go online to church, we can dismantle their physical buildings which take up valuable real estate, or convert them to more useful purposes, like homeless shelters, museums, parks, or even parking lots.

    At least when they're online, they're in their own homes, and not adding to traffic on Sunday mornings.